If you have just landed on this page and want to read the transcript on this blog from the beginning just click here and that will bring you to that page. If you wish to listen to John Cleese's lecture you can find it on You Tube here.
I really like this last part almost better than all the rest...although. All the rest is pretty darn good too. Enjoy!
And now, in the two minutes left, I can come to the important part. And that is; How to Stop Your Subordinates from Becoming Creative Too - which is the real threat.
Because, believe me - no one appreciates better than I do - what trouble creative people are. And how they stop decisive, hard-nosed bastards like us from running businesses efficiently.I mean - we all know...if we encourage someone to be creative - the next thing is - they're rocking the boat...coming up with ideas...and asking us questions!
Now! If we don't nip this kind of thing in the bud - we'll have to start justifying our decisions by reasoned argument...and sharing information...the concealment of which gives us considerable advantages in our power struggles.
So! Here's how to stamp out creativity in the rest of the organization and get a bit of respect going:One. Allow subordinates no humor! It threatens your self-importance - especially your omniscience. Treat all humor as frivolous or subversive.Because subversive - is of course - what humor will be in your setup. As it's the only way that people can express their opposition, since - if they express it openly - you're down on them like a ton of bricks!So let's get this clear! Blame humor for the resistance that your way of working creates. Then you don't have to blame your way of working. This is important. And I mean that solemnly. Your dignity is no laughing matter...Second. Keeping ourselves feeling irreplaceable involves cutting everybody else down to size. So! Don't miss an opportunity to undermine your employees' confidence.A perfect opportunity comes when you're reviewing work that they've done. Use your authority to zero in immediately on all the things you can find wrong. Never never balance the negatives with the positives; only criticize - just as your school teachers did.Always remember! Praise Makes People Uppity!Third. Demand that people should always be actively doing things. If you catch anyone pondering - accuse them of laziness and/or indecision. This is to starve employees of thinking time...because that leads to creativity and insurrection.
So demand urgency at all times - use lots of fighting talk and war analogies - and establish a permanent atmosphere of stress...of breathless anxiety...and crisis!
In a phrase - Keep That Mode Closed!In this way - we no-nonsense types can be sure that the tiny, tiny, microscopic quantity of creativity in our organization will all be ours!But! Let your vigilance slip for one moment, and you could find yourself surrounded by happy, enthusiastic, and creative people whom you might never be able completely to control - ever again!So be careful!Thank you. And....good night.
Ah....ain't it the truth? I think that is why so many people want to be their own boss. Why not if you work for someone, or worse...a whole organization - where practically everyone in charge is keeping everyone else in Closed Mode only? Unless the organization keeps hiring from outside...thereby giving it a breath of fresh air from time to time (until the new person becomes closed down as well)...I cannot see how it would be able to thrive after a time.
As artists - at least we can spend parts (or all) of our days playing in Open Mode and executing our visions (which we discovered in Open Mode) in Closed Mode...(so we actually will finish our projects...). If the people around us are able to strike a balance between Open Mode and Closed Mode too - I have to think we could accomplish a great deal of creative good.
Today, (and every day) I wish for you the accomplishment of a great deal of creative good.
Tomorrow we will get started on another subject...although. It hasn't occurred to me yet what that will be.